Questions
by anxiousgeek
Summary: Hawke finds Isabela in the empty Qunari Compound a day or two after the Qunari attack on the city. Isabela/F!Hawke


"At least I know why you refused to come in here every time I had to talk to the Arishok," Hawke says.

Isabela is sitting on the steps leading up to the where the Qunari leader used to sit, daggers by her feet, just staring into space. Hawke didn't know she'd been here, she's just here to assess the damage to the city as she heads back to Hightown. No one had seen Isabela since the duel, since the night the Qunari left and Hawke was sure she'd run off again having sort of done the right thing and getting away with her life intact.

Hawke is still limping from having a sword shoved through her body.

"I wasn't sure if they knew me but I couldn't take the chance," Isabela says.

She still won't meet Hawke's eyes. The warrior takes her sword from her back, lays is on the steps with the pirate's daggers and sits next to her on the stone steps. Slowly.

"Why did you come back?"

"Why did you duel for me?"

Neither answers.

It's late, too late to be asking questions like this and way too late to be sitting on the docks. It's past midnight, Hawke is sure of that, and while it's warm in Kirkwall right now, she can feel the breeze from the sea rolling in, a mist following it.

"why did you leave?" Hawke tries again.

"Cause I was only thinking about my own damn skin as usual," Isabela spits, kicking at her daggers. One falls down a step, another to the ground. Hawke's sword is heavier and remains where it is. "And I got ut the city and remembered that I quite like your damn skin too."

Hawke chuckles.

"You have a good heart Marian," she says. "Better than Kirkwall deserves that's for sure."

"And what about you?" Hawke asks.

"Oh, definitely better than what I deserve."

"What about your heart?"

"Sold it off. A long time ago."

Hawke nods, half believing it. Isabela certainly does and they're quiet again. The city is quiet too, has been for days since the Quanari left, a hangover from the battle they were part of as everyone tries to figure out what they're supposed to do now. Celebrate or grieve. They can just hear the sea lap at the harbour walls though and the odd drunk wandering around in a confused stupor. That much is comforting Hawke thinks.

Soon things will be back to normal.

Hawke isn't sure that's what she wants.

"Look, Hawke," Isabela says. "For what it's worth I'm sorry." Hawke nods. "Why did you duel for me?"

She laughs then, standing up and collecting their weapons back up. She's had enough for the Quanari Compound to last a lifetime or two. Sword back in place she hands Isabela her daggers and pulls her to her feet.

"Because despite your warning, Bethany's warnings, my mothers, Varric's...I love you Isabela," she says. "Now, if you want you can come and remind me more about what a terrible thing that is in my nice warm house or you can sit here and mope in the cold stone for a bit longer. Either way, I'm going home."

She turns and walks away, smiling when she hears Isabela scrambling down the steps to follow.

"Why were you down here anyway?" Hawke asks as they head up to Hightown.

"I've never been in there but's been part of my life for years now, years. I wanted to see what it looks like."

"It's a bit different without all the Quanari in it," Hawke says. "And that was all there was to see in the first place."

Isabela doesn't reply, simply falling into step with the warrior and they walk in silence the rest of the way to Hawke's estate. The city is still smoking in places, lamps are lit but besides the two of them, no one is out to need the light. An odd person or two scurrying from street to street. A small group scatters when they see Hawke and Isabela approaching but none of the usual suspects are out.

No prostitutes, no partying nobles, no thieves or templars even.

Hawke doesn't like it but she understands it. Soon someone will have to come out and clean up. The bodies and broken bits of the city will need removing. The city is blood and brick right now and it's awful. She doesn't want to be out in it any more and when they arrive home she sighs, heading straight to her bedroom where she has a bottle of Antivan brandy hidden.

Isabela is right behind her, finds a couple of glasses and holds them as she pours them both a glass. She sits on the edge of the bed but Isabela remains on her feet, downing the brandy and pouring another.

"Why did you come back?" Hawke tries again.

"Why did you duel for me?"

Hawke frowns and falls back onto the bed, holding her brandy up.

"You don't want to know the answer Isabela so why are you asking?" she says. She manages to take a sip of her drink, spilling a little but not much.

"You know I don't have an answer so why are you asking?" she replies.

They're going around in circles, as usual, and Hawke knows they could just deflect all night until they fuck and Hawke falls asleep as Isabela slips away. Except she's too tired and heartsore right now to even think about doing their usual dance.

"Just go Isabela."

She sits up, downs her brandy and lies back down again, letting the empty glass fall to the bed. She manages to kick her boots off and crawl back until her head is resting on the covers. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. In a few days, in a few days everything will be back to normal she thinks and she can carry on.

Maybe she can even sleep with Isabela again.

"I'm sorry Marian."

She sits up then. Isabela is still standing, closer now, at the end of the bed. She's finished her drink and put her glass aside, take her daggers off and is unzipping her boots.

"I'm not fucking you Isabela," Hawke says.

"I know." She crawls onto the bed with the warrior and lies down next to her. "But I can't go either. Not now."

"I don't want you to stay though."

"In Kirkwall or your bed."

"Right now both," Hawke says, closing her eyes again. Isabela goes to get up, but Hawke reaches out and grabs her arm. "I didn't mean it."

"I know," Isabela says settling back down again. "And I don't want to fuck you."

"Really?" Hawke asks raising an eyebrow.

"Well I do, of course," she replies with a smile, and she leans over to kiss her and because Hawke wants to fuck her too, kisses back for a moment. "I won't' though. Not tonight. We can't tonight."

"Oh?"

"For once, it's just not the time," she says and Hawke can't decide if she wants to laugh or cry. "Go to sleep Hawke. We'll talk about it in the morning."

"About fucking? We don't normally."

"We'll talk about why I came back," Isabela whispers, voice gone suddenly.

"And why I duelled for you?"

"Yeah."

Hawke is pretty sure the morning isn't going to come then, but Isabela seems to already be asleep and if she's still there in the morning then it will be a miracle she could do with right now.

xxx

"It's not too late to go," Hawke says.

She's woken early before the sun has risen. Partly because she isn't used to another person in her bed and Isabela snores lightly. Partly because Bodan is always up before the sun and sometimes she hears him and sometimes she doesn't. She doesn't mind but Isabela seems to be a little miffed to be awake so early.

"It's way too late sweetheart," she mumbles, eyes closing again.

"Why did you come back?" Hawke tries because she's been dreaming about this woman, for years now. Her body and her golden skin and hidden heart.

"Cause I love you," she replies, voice a little clearer now, turning to lie on her side and face Hawke. "That's why. And it was the right thing to do and I knew, I knew you'd look after me."

"You don't need looking after."

"Sometimes I do it seems." Hawke chuckles at that. She's pretty sure she could've beaten the Arishok too, or gotten away with the book and her life, or at least her life but it's nice to be wanted.

To be loved.

"Why did you duel for me?" Isabela asks.

Hawke turns now, on her side and smiles.

"Cause I love you," she replies. "That's why. And it was the right thing to do and I knew you'd look after me."

"You don't need looking after either Hawke," Isabela says.

Hawke lifts her shirt up to reveal the scar on her stomach, rubbing at the ache there.

"I don't know about that," she says, "everything hurts sometimes."

Isabela kisses her then, pressing forward so their bodies are touching and touching her fingers to the scar on her abdomen.

"What are we going to do now?" Hawke asks.

"Sleep a little longer?" Isabela asks.

Hawke nods and they fit their bodies together, resting her head on Isabela's breasts and closing her eyes.

"We'll fuck later right?" she asks and she feels Isabela's laugh.

"Of course Hawke, of course."


End file.
